Bachelor 5 - Orlando Centowski

Welcome Back Legacy Land Viewers! 

If you saw last night's episode of The Heiress you have new meaning to the expression "Love Stinks"

Let's talk to the bachelor who shared a little too much of himself last night:

Orlando Centowski

Orlando:  I don't see what the big deal is.  I was just tryin to have some fun.

Last night you were among the 5 remaining bachelors Orlando.  We sent you on a group date to the Student Recreation Center, we weren't going to take any more chances with another Lizard Lounge incident...

It looked like the evening started out pretty well for you Orlando.

Orlando:  Yeah, I guess so.  We was like dancin and stuff, and she had a pretty good body.  She wasn't fat or nothin.  I played some pool with her and she was aight.

Sorry - 'aight' ?

Olando:   duh.  Then this stupid song came on the radio so I say "I am so sick of this stupid song.  They play it all the time."

And she's like "That's Llama Mama.  That's my brother's band. They're playing at Kings Gardens."

Orlando:  She showed me her brother on her T Shirt.  Now THAT I didn't mind lookin at.  It was the first time Llama Mama ever looked good.  Huh.

So then I tell her 'hey, you got somethin on that shirt - let me help you clean it off.  Huh.

And then you threw a water balloon at The Heiress...

Olrando:  Heck yeah!  It was awesome.  She didn't see it comin or nothin!  I got her good!  I caught her  lookin at that Derek dude so she deserved it too.  Wet t shirt time baby!

Orlando - this is a delicate subject - but we couldn't help but notice that you were having some sort of bowel disorder last night.

Orlando - I don't know what you're talkin 'bout man.

Maybe this will 'refresh' your memory Orlando.  You approached Miss Legalos, lifted your buttocks and spewed  a toxic gas while grunting and making squeaking noises.

Orlando:  Aw that.  That was nothin.  I was just havin some fun - giving her a little of the 'Centowski Scent'  Huh.  I can rip em any time I want to. Wanna see?

We already did...

Orlando - you passed so much gas a HazMat team had to be called out by the University.  Oddly enough, that wasn't the most astonishing thing.  What we find unbelievable, Orlando, is that each time you did this, you attempted to blame it on The Heiress.

Orlando:  Hey - what makes you so sure it was me that did them?  The one who smelt it dealt it!   Huh.

Well Orlando, there was no doubt in anyone's mind where the gas was coming from, but simply due to the sheer quantity of toxins being produced, we enhanced this piece of tape so that the book of world records could measure its size.  There is a proctologist backstage who would like to examine you.

Orlando:  Oh Crap

That's what it smelled like.

Orlando, Legacy Land didn't need to smell you to vote.

(Although we wouldn't be surprised if they could smell you.)

You will not marry The Heiress.  Goodbye.

Bachelor 4

Return to The Heiress