Legalos - A Legendary Legacy

Meet Robi's Parents.

Hi. Me again. Today I'm going to Robi's house to meet his parents. I'm about to leave right now, actually. Umm, how am I feeling? Kind of nervous actually. The only thing I know about is family is they own Ugg Bugg Pest Control. Robi's dad used to spray our house, and so I guess that means I've met his dad, but well, it doesn't feel the same. Now I'm some Heiress, and people look at me differently, like, what am I going to do to their son if I marry them? I dont' know what I'm going to do. I've never been married before.

Robi's parents have a beautiful home. I guess there's been a lot of bugs in Legacy Land.

Robi Sr. and Ambrosia were very happy to see us.

Ambrosia, Robi's mom, has been watching the show, which of course isn't a surprise, and she had the questions that everyone else had - like was the streaking at the library really planned and did I really put a restraining order on Randy London? No, the streaking wasn't planned, and yes Randy London should never trouble me again. Robi and his dad started in right away talking about bugs and critters. I didn't hear everything, but apparently someone had raised a rat as a pet and it grew to be over 30 pounds from being overfed. Somehow the giant rat escaped and has been terrorizing cats all over Legacy Land.

I shouldn't have been, but I was surprised when Ambrosia told me she was a Llama Mama fan. I never cease to be amazed at my brother's newfound popularity. Ambrosia told me that she had purchased their first album, Save The Planet, and saw them play at a club a few months ago, but the T shirts were all sold out, and she was disappointed she couldn't get one. I think I scored major points with her when I told her that I actually had packed some extra Concert Tees in my bag. I didn't expect Robi's mom to be so relaxed and modern. She didn't act her age at all, which, of course, wasn't very old... She reminded me a lot of my own mom.

As we were talking, I noticed a book sitting on the table next to us.

"Is this Robi?" I asked

"Yes" she grinned, "I pulled down his scrapbook. I thought you might like to know a little bit more about our family."

"Oh wow, that would be great!" I said.

Robi and his dad walked in from outside and Robi saw us sitting down with his scrapbook.

"Is that my book Mom?"

"Of course dear."

"I should have known" he said "You've threatend my whole life to show that to a girlfriend. Dad and I are going to play darts on the porch while you ladies get aquainted laughing at old pictures of me"

Ambrosia opened the book and began to tell me the history of their family and Ugg Bugg Pest Control.
It seemed that Robi Sr.'s mother was killed by a swarm of killer flies and he was raised by his father. This tragedy began his lifelong mission to prevent such a travesty from ever happening again. He met Ambrosia in highschool, and after they graduated they moved to Legacy Land and started Ugg Bugg pest control together. Robi Sr. handled the bugs, and Ambrosia handled the books.

It was amazing to see this new family, just starting out. "This is the day we bought our first truck" she said. "Robi Jr. was still a baby."

It was apparent that Robi had a lifelong fascination with that big yellow bug truck.

"This was really special" Ambrosia said. "Robi's middle name is Presley, which was my maiden name - no relation to Elvis - but we had a hard time convincing Robi of that. He thought we gave him the name after Elvis Presley, the singer, which is why he's always been such a fan. One day Robi. Sr. came home very excited, he'd told me he'd been to treat a house for someone who had just moved into in our development and discovered the house belonged to THE Mr. Presley. He told him our son was a big fan, and Mr. Presley was so gracious, he offered to come over and surprise Robi, so we arranged for him to come to Robi's 10th Birthday party that next weekend. Robi has never been so surprised or so excited."

I just can't believe that Elvis has been living in Legacy land all these years and I never knew...

The scrapbook was really neat, I enjoyed getting to see "Robi Jr" grow up. His mother sounded quite sad that they had never had any more children, it was obvious that both Robi's meant the world to her. "Well,"she said with a sigh, "There's always grandchildren, right?"

Robi and his dad came in from outside, just in time I might add. That grandchildren comment felt like a pretty strong hint.

"I know all your secrets" I told Robi, grinning
"Oh I doubt that" Robi said. "But do you want to come upstairs and see my room? You might learn a few more"
That sure sounded like an inviation to me, so thanking Ambrosia again for showing me the pictures, I followed Robi upstairs. Ambrosia said she was going to run out to the market to pick up a few things. Robi Sr. sat on the couch reading his paper. He hadn't said much to me, but he smiled.

"Wow! Elvis huh? You weren't kidding!" Robi's room was covered with Elvis pictures, some of them taken at his 10th birthday party when Elvis came to visit.
"Yeah, well, it stared when I found out he had the same last name as my middle name, and I thought I was named after him"
"Yes, your mom told me."

"Yeah, I've always thought it would be cool to name a child Elvis. I mean, if we had kids, you'd be ok with that, right? We could name our son - or our daughter Elvis. You wouldn't have a problem with that, would you?"

I put my hand over my mouth, trying to hide my horror. I'm not sure what scared me more. The thought of having a child - or naming it Elvis.

Robi just stood there grinning at me as I tried to reply politely "Well, ummm, that certainly would be different, wouldn't it, ummm"

He was still grinning when he said "I'm only kidding. Relax. It was a joke. I swear."

Why didn't I see that? I guess this legacy pressure is really getting to me.

"I know what you need." Robi said, taking me by the hands. "You need to relax."

I glanced down at the bed figuring that would be as good a place as any to make out.

But Robi walked over to his dresser. "Close your eyes" he said "It's a surprise."

He handed something to me "OK, I want you to put this on, but don't open your eyes til I'm out of the room ok? No peeking. After you put this on, meet me in the bathroom, it's the first door out of my room."

Oh this was very mysterious, and when I opened my eyes, I couldn't believe what I saw. I was about to ask for an explanation, and then, I remembered, and I couldn't believe that he had remembered too. Never in my wildest dreams would this have crossed my mind. And yet, it was my wildest dream.

<yes - left blank for torture>

I tapped on the bathroom door

"Arrrr! Who goes there?" said Robi

"It's me" I said, sorry I hadn't prepared a more clever reply. "You're.... you're..." I stammered

"That's right, I'm Pirate Robi" he said "And we're gonna set sail on me good ship the Tubalub! All Aboard!"

On our last date, I remembered, Robi asked me what I thought I was going to be when I grew up, and I told him when I was a kid, I wanted to be a pirate. I used to play pirate in the bathtub all the time, and make my brother Plato walk the plank. Once I dropped my mom's jewelry into the tub and held Plato under the water to look for treasure. I just can't believe Robi had these pirate costumes. "Where did you get these? How long have you been planning this?" I asked.

"No more talkin fer you landlubber, gets aboard me ship err ye'll be feedin da fishes!"

And so I boarded the good ship Tubalub and Pirate Robi and I set sail.

"Ahoy mateee! The view is mighty fine from here"

And the Tubalub sailed over a year...

...and in and out of weeks...

...and through a day.

And the Pirate Robi said "Mistress Calliopie, I think I shall devour yee flesh fer my eyes are not enough ter do yer beauty justice!"

And the Mistress Calliopie - she said to the Pirate Robi "I cannot bear to be eaten alive! Please Pirate Robi!"

Thinking quickly, she pressed her lips to his, placing a magic spell over Pirate Robi.

And Pirate Robi fell to his knees crying "I surrender to thee Mistress Calliopie. Thou hast stolen my heart with your kiss. I am but a slave to thy love!"

Just then, Ambrosia tapped on the door and told us to put on our swimming suits, we were going to have a swim and eat lunch by the pool.

I went back into Robi's room to change out of my Pirate Costume

I looked around the room at all the pictures on the wall. Besides the Elvis pictures, there were family pictures. One in particular caught my eye of Robi Sr. holding Robi Jr.

Robi and I went down to the pool and joined Robi Sr. and Ambrosia in a swim. I couldn't get over how beautiful their backyard was. Shanley Manor is a huge house, but we don't have a pool or anything like this, what would Great Grandma Magna say?

Robi Sr. grilled hamburgers for lunch and Robi asked me to teach him the bar juggling routine that HOHOHO is so famous for at our parties.

When we sat down to lunch, Robi's dad spoke to me.

"Calliopie, I think it's time we had a serious conversation and laid some things out on the table."
I gulped down the piece of hamburger in my mouth more quickly than I'd intended and thought I might choke. "Ok" I sputtered.
"I don't know the details of this reality tv show that you're on, but I understand there is a possibility that if Robi wins this show, or however that works, that he would be marrying into your family's legacy."
"Well, yes, that's pretty much the intention of this show" I said "To marry me off and start the next generation."

"Well," said Robi Sr., wiping mustard from his mouth "Ambrosia and I have some concerns."

Oh I so do not deal with these kinds of conversations well. I glanced over at Robi who didn't seem at all concerned or aware that I was about develop a nervous tick.
"What, uh, what were you uh worried about?" was all I could manage.

"Oh it's not really a worry" Robi Sr said, smiling and lightening the mood a little. "It's about Ugg Bugg."

"Ugg Bugg Sir?"

"Yes dear, our Pest Control Company, that Ambrosia and I started when we moved to Legacy Land. We had always planned to pass it on to Robi, kind of our own family legacy. We built this business for him, and we wanted to know if you saw that as something that fit in with your vision for the legacy."

"Oh, you mean would I mind if Robi continues to work for you if we're married?"
Ambrosia touched my hand "Actually dear, we were planning for Robi to take over the business when he graduated. Robi Sr. and I have been planning to retire, because of his health - We'd like Robi, and his family, to continue this business."

I couldn't believe I had been so nervous. "No, that's what I would expect, I mean, if I married Robi. He's told me he always wanted to be a bug man, and it sounds like he really knows his stuff. He's the first person who ever made bugs sound interesting, actually. I couldn't imagine Robi as anything other than a bug man."
Robi reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "Is that it?" I said.

"Yes" said Robi Sr. with a sigh of relief. "You see, not every young woman in Robi's life has been so understanding about his future. Ambrosia and I needed to know where you stood on the issue."

Not every young woman? That struck me as strange. What other women had been in Robi's life? He never mentioned anyone. Who hadn't approved of Ugg Bugg?
But before I could ponder any of that, Ambrosia had the dishes cleared and said that Robi and I were invited to go bowling with them.
"Oh! I have an idea." I said, and quickly ran to get the Llama Mama Tshirts out of my bag. "I just got them from Plato, would you like to wear them bowling?" Ambrosia was thrilled with the shirts, and we all changed into our best Llama Mama attire and drove to the bowling alley.

Bowling was a lot of fun. Robi Sr. and Ambrosia were remarkably relaxed and friendly once I told them I had no problem with Ugg Bugg, but I couldn't help but wonder what had made them worry so much, or what other woman had been part of Robi's life.

Robi was really sweet and after we had bowled for awhile he pulled me down onto his lap. "Are you having fun?" He said. I told him I was, picking a piece of fuzz from the Plato on his shirt. "These other women in your life..." I said, "Why didn't they like Ugg Bugg?"
Robi blushed. "It wasn't women, it was a woman, only one. Her family was wealthy and they thought they owned people. They didn't believe anyone in their family should have service jobs, like pest control. So, so it didn't work out."

"Wow. How serious was this relationship, I mean, if her family was handing out opinions like that?"
"Ummmm" said Robi, shifting me in his lap and inspecting my earings as if he was hoping his train of thought would derail.  "It was pretty serious."
"Like how serious - serious?" Gosh, why wouldn't he tell me?
"Like we broke up the night before our wedding."  he said.
"You were engaged?? You almost got married?" This was taking me completely by surprise.
Robi nodded.  "We were 19, too young really. My dad had a big contract with her dad's company, that's how we met. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it's just, it never worked out, and it's in the past. I didn't know my parents were going to bring it up."
"How long were you together?"
"Almost 3 years."
"What, what was her name?"
"Andy - Andrea"
"Are you sorry it didn't work out?"
"Not anymore." Robi grinned and kissed me, but I pulled back and he continued. "It stinks, you know, to get your heart broken, but her family was so controlling, I can see now that it wouldn't have worked. I think my parents were kind of worried that your family would be controlling too - with their whole legacy thing. Are you really ok with bugs?"

"I'm ok with you killing them." I said. "Can that be enough?"
"Lady, you've got a deal" Robi said, and then I let him kiss me, until I remembered that we were there with his parents and here I was swapping spit with their son.

But when I spotted Ambrosia and Robi, they were actually having a moment of their own. They must have heard Robi and I laugh and we all stood up. Ambrosia was very exicted. "Have you ever had a Caramel Collision Calliopie?"
"A Caramel what?"
"A Carmel Collision, the little diner across the street, the make this cake called the Caramel Collision, it's just to die for. We must go have some."
And so we all walked across the street and sat down with mammoth slices of Caramel Collision Cake.

For the second time today, I very nearly choked when Ambrosia said to me "Calliopie - do you want to have a lot or children, and do you want to have them soon?"

"Oh gosh, hang on. Kids are great but ummm, I'm not married yet, and I hope that's something my husband and I will decide together, when it's right for us. And right now, I don't even know who that husband is going to be. But I want to have a career, carrying on this legacy is just part of my life, not the whole thing."

"Oh Sweetie, I wasn't trying to make you uptight, I'm sorry. I don't think I asked my question the right way." Ambrosia said. "What I wanted to know was how you looked at marriage, was it just a method to have children for the legacy, because you seem a little spooked by the idea."

"Oh, well, I would be lying if I didn't say that having children scared me. I mean, I love kids, it's just that adding people to the planet, and taking responsibility for another life, wow. I want to be a mom, but I don't want it to be my whole life. My mom didn't have a career until we were all in highschool, and well, I don't think I want to do it the way that she did it, but my mom and I are different in many ways. But I know I definitely plan to have kids, I will produce an heir or an heiress. I just don't know when."

Maybe that was more than anyone was asking for, and more than I bargained on saying, but it just all came spilling out, and by the time I was done I was glad to see that everyone had finished their cake.
"I'll be right back" Robi said, kissing my cheek.

I watched him walk across the room and speak to an incredibly hot guy.

Oh man, this guy was total eye candy. Who was this guy? He was like super model underwear model hot or something. I was too busy staring to notice that Robi was calling me over to introduce me.

"Calliopie, this is Nesdin, the artist whose show I took you to."

Words, words, how do I make words come out of my mouth? My tongue was thinking about things besides words. Come on! Say something charming Calliopie! "Oh Wow" It was the best I could manage.

"I'm a big fan of the show" Nesdin said "and Robi's told me all about you. We used to be roommates you know, we practically lived off of grilled cheese didn't we? Hey, well listen, you'll have to come to my studio sometime, I'd like to paint your portrait for real."
"Oh Wow" it was all I could manage again, maybe later Robi would tell me what he said. Something about going over to his place.

"Let's dance" Robi said, taking my hand and we joined his parents and I tried hard to get over my eye candy shock.

Robi's parents sure are a lot of fun, but Robi Sr is obviously still dealing with health problems, and when he began to look pale, I suggested we sit down at one of the tables.

"Do you know what makes marriage work?"
Wow, this family had a penchant for being direct. "Umm, no, not yet." I admitted
"Well, I'm going to give you a head start" he said, and we talked for the better part of an hour about marriage and relationships, and I have to say, I've never met anyone with his perspectives. It certainly explained a lot, and made me look at a lot of things differently. I left the conversation with a much better understanding of the Chavratt family and what their lives had been about, and what made marriage work, in the long term.

By the time we were done, it was late, and I caught a ride back home to HOHOHO. I'm exhausted and my brain is full. I'd tell you more about what Robi Sr. said, but I can't stop yawning. I'm going to have to turn in. This certainly was an interesting day. If life gets any more interesting, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. But thanks for hanging in there Legacy Land. Next week I get to go home and see my parents, I can't wait for that.

Good Night Legacy Land

Next - The Visitor - Part 3

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