Legolas Legacy
Multiply, Divide, Prosper
Well, here I am. Wherever, or whenever I am. Robi always say "Wherever you go, there you are." I think this is the first time that has made sense, which is actually very confusing. So, here I am. The address is the same as mine, but everything else is different. And these people? They're like my dead relatives or something. Apparently I'm supposed to stay here until I 'realize my destiny' ??? Whatever..... What I wouldn't give for a pair of ruby slippers right now.
Alright Great Grandma Magna (am I supposed to call you that?) I give up. WHERE am I? Whose house is this?
This is the Legalos home - this is where we lived.
But Shanley Manor is our house, it's been in the family for generations my dad said.
And he's right. Shanley Manor has been in our family for generations. But we didn't start out there. Noooooooo. If Grandpa Remington and I hadn't made some serious cash for this family, do you think we could have afforded a place like that? Your Great Great Great Grandfather Aristotle started out in a field with an outhouse. Life was very different back then. You'll see.
I was afraid you were going to say something like that. I'm not going to have to shower outdoors am I?
Come inside. I'm going to show you what it was like to grow up Legalos.
This is the Great Room. It served as our kitchen and living area. Most of the things that happened, happened in this room. Your Great Great Great Grandma Brandi? The Grim Reaper came for her just on the other side of that bar where Capernicus is sitting.
Ok, that's kinda creepy. When Grandma Erika died, the Grim Reaper was in the dishwasher...
So what's with all the furniture and decorations..... it's so Maxis....
You're right! That's because custom content hadn't been invented yet.
You're kidding, right? Is that why you all dress in those old fashioned Maxis clothes?
You got it! And Legacy Land hasn't always had a University, or Downtown, or any of those other things that you enjoy.
No cars?
No cars.
Wow.
Ok.... is there a reason that your house plants glow in the dark?
Yes! It's because they're made of money.
Houseplants that are made of money? And you grow these? For what?
For money, of course. Every little bit helps. We must make as much money as possible.
How much money?
40 Simoleons.
You've got to be kidding. You grow these freakish plants for a lousy 40 simoleons?
Not with a bad attitude you don't. This crop of money trees sustained the family for many years.
Come with me, I have much more to show you.
Where are we going? I thought you said everything happened in this room.
We're going to the basement, it's just behind the kitchen.
The basement is behind the kitchen? Who built this house???
So this is the basement. It was mostly used for skill building, and kids and townies slept down here too.
Townies? Since when have we ever let townies move in?
Well, let's see. There was Grandpa Aristotle's friend Abhijeet. That didn't last though since he didn't get along with anyone. Goopy stayed for a bit and agreed to let us use him as satellite bait, but that didn't really work out either. Apparently Goopy isn't worth leaving orbit for. And then there was the mailman, Pao Mellon. If he hadn't been so addicted to his Noodlesoother, he might have done great things for this family. I kept telling him that stupid hat would be the death of him someday...
So the kids and the townies slept down here? On freaky space beds? And painted?
Or practiced their cleaning, or speeches. We all loved to paint. Oh, and there was a bathroom in the basement, at one time, but we had to sell it to pay bills.
You're kidding, right? You sold a bathroom to pay bills?
We were going through a rough patch. Capernicus placed a sizeable bet on the team he was coaching, and lost. I don't like to think about it. Why don't you go back upstairs and have my son Newton show you the other rooms.
Uh, Grandpa Newton? Magna says you're supposed to show me the bedrooms or something.
Sure thing sweetie, just let me finish cleaning out the tub.
Doesn't the maid do that when he comes?
Oh, don't let your Grandma Magna hear you say that. Maids cost money. We were better off just learning to clean up ourselves. Fortunately, when we moved to Shanley Manor, it was so big she couldn't keep up with it all, so she did let us get a maid. Good thing too, since it was your mom, Kaylynn, that took the job.
Yeah, I might not be here, huh?
Alright. This is the master bedroom. Aristotle and Brandi slept in here, then Capernicus and Cassidy. I don't think my parents ever did, they moved to Shanely when I was a teenager. But you do know that this isn't the original house? Aristotle was an elder when we came to live here. He died before I was born. Does this confuse you?
I thought this was the original house. What happened to the first house?
I don't really know, honestly. Piano fire? Nobody likes to talk about it, whatever it was. But we lived in this house since before my mother was born, until I was a teenager.
I'm going to pretend that wasn't confusing and ask you why uncle Galileo is standing in the closet with Dad.
He's trying to get him to go to sleep, of course.
No, why is the nursery just a closet? Shanley Manor has a nursery suite.
I don't really know. That's just how we did it back then.
And this is the other bedroom. My parents slept in here. In fact, I was born in this room.
But, it's so big. And empty.
Well, once your Grandma Magna started shopping, it wasn't nearly this empty. Oh, and uh, don't sit on that bed.
Why not?
Oh, umm, my dad, Remington? He was a bit inclined in the, uh, romance department, so uh, one of the legs on the bed is loose. Please don't make me tell you any more than that.
The pizza guy? A romantic? Well, I guess it takes some pretty special pepperoni to get into this family...
So that's pretty much the house. Is that what you wanted to see?
I guess. This place is just so different from Shanley Manor.
Isn't it? Well, it's nearly time for dinner. Is grilled cheese still your favorite?
Sure Grandpa.
Uncle Galileo! I've missed you. You never come around anymore. I'm so glad you're here.
Oh look at you. Cali-licious. You sure grew up, didn't you? Squish me now Bug Bride.
Oh Uncle Galileo, is there anything you won't say?
Uh, probably not. Never met a word I didn't like. Blame it on that freakish alien DNA, ya know?
Sometimes I think you're the most normal member of this family.
Heh. Yeah, well don't let your Grandma Magna hear you say that. Listen, I think the little dude, uh, your dad is awake from his nap. Would you mind going to get him?
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Why are babies always screaming at me???
Oh don't tell me that's you dad. No wonder they put you in here. It's not a closet - it's a gas chamber!
Ok, I'll try to help you out with your, uh, odor problem if you promise not to get any of that on me.
It is just so wrong that the first diaper I have to change in my life is my baby daddy's..... I know. I'm traumatized too. But at least YOU won't remember this.
Ok. I think Plato told me the secret was LOTS of powder. If I can't see anything, I can't be permanently scarred from this, right? Ok. A little more, just in case.
Woah, I did it. Baby Daddy's all clean.
Now can someone tell me what I'm supposed to do with THIS???
Arrrgh! Is THIS what's supposed to become of 'The Heiress' ??? Wiping butts and noses and pretending I know what that Wobbly Wabbit is saying???
Hello Mrs. Legalos! You are now the prisoner of this drooling, pooping, screaming lump. Be sure to keep it happy!
Oh! Hello little Legalos Lump! Oh sure. I'll give up parties and sleep and freedom for you. No problem! WooHoo when I want it? No! Don't be silly. I don't care about THAT. And all I have to do is figure out how to raise you to adulthood without turning you into an axe murderer! This is going to be fun!
Please. Somebody take this thing. Really. Take it. Quick.
If I have to have a kid, I swear. I'll lose my mind.
Hello Mr. McSteamy. Sure, I'd love to dance!
Oh McSteamy! You're such a naughty boy! Right here? In the elevator?
Did anyone ever tell you I could get lost in your eyes??? What?? You want to run away with me McSteamy?
Oh yes, of course! I'll run away with you!
Later....
Ah Caliopie. Finally we have a chance to talk.
Yeah, Grandpa Aristotle, Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?
Yes. I want you to tell me about yourself.
What did you want to know?
Tell me about your marriage. Who's this guy you're married to? Tell me about him.
Robi? Oh, he's great I guess. He's an exterminator. He has his own company. Ugg Bugg Pest Control.
How did you meet him?
Oh, well, uh, he used to spray our house for bugs. But then when I was in college I got asked to do this show called "The Heiress" and I had 8 guys compete to marry me.
And Robi won?
Well, yeah. Kind of. I picked him.
And is he a good man, this Robi?
Oh yes. He's practically perfect.
Perfect huh? Sounds like perfect would be pretty hard to be married to.
Oh. well, ummm. Sometimes it does get a little bit annoying.
Is that why you left him?
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