A Bed of Roses

continued...

 

George came out of the bath looking - and smelling - like a new man. (yep, he still smelled like a Christmas tree) Unfortunately all that cleaning had left me smelling like.......the old George.

Awwww, you're all sweaty, and I didn't even get to be the one to make you sweat.

That's sweet George, but I really stink. I think I better go home so I can clean up.

Is Robi waiting for you?

Well, uh, no. He went with my dad to a tree hugger convention. They invited him to be a guest speaker on arborial pest prevention.

Then, don't go yet Cal. We didn't even get to talk. You can clean up here. I scrubbed out that nasty tub, I promise.

But my clothes George. I can't put these back on.

An old lady used to live in this building. Some of her stuff is still here. I'm sure she's got something you could put on. And while you're cleaning up, I'll order some Thai. The least I can do is buy you dinner for cleaning up this place.

 

So?

I took a bath at George's. ALONE. I stunk to high heavens and I really didn't want to go all the way home like that. Besides, I'm an adult. Two consenting adults can eat Thai, can't they?

 

So, as I was saying, George gave me a dress to put on that belonged to an old lady who used to live here.

And I guess you could say that the dress wasn't exactly my style.... While George laughed his butt off (I can't really blame him, it was a hideous dress) I went back to look for something else to put on.

I found an old overcoat, so I decided just to put that on instead and hold it together with an old belt. It was almost like a dress, right?

Are you wearing anything under that coat?

I don't think that's any of your business, Mr. McCarthy.

 

So then you ate that tied-up food with him?

Thai food, Grandpa. You know, from Thai-Land?

Is that near Veronaville?

Not exactly. But we ate our food, on the couch. Separately.

 

Why are you sitting all the way down there Cal?

Is there some reason I shouldn't? Were you expecting me to eat my Pan'ang Chicken sitting in your lap?

No. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything.

I'm not uncomfortable. Who said I was uncomfortable?

 

So then he asked me what it was like, being married, and being The Heiress.

So what's it like Cal? Are you happy? Do you like your life? I mean, I'm just asking cause even though I've got all these coffee bar franchises, which I thought I wanted, my life still turned out like crap. I mean, how screwed up is that? You get what you want, and then you hate it? Do you ever feel like that? Or do you like what you got?

And then I told him. I told him everything. All the things I couldn't tell anyone. How I felt about being The Heiress. How Plato was touring the world with his band, and Izzy had her perfect life, but I had no say in mine. I had to move back home, I have to live with my parents, and I have to die in that house. And I have to be married to Mr. Perfect, but I'm not Mrs. Perfect, and I feel like my whole life is a lie. I have no clue what I'm supposed to do as an Heiress, it's the most ridiculous thing. It's like my only purpose is to be breeding stock for the bloodline. I don't see how anyone could think this was good. Sure, my name, my family's name, has given me all kinds of great opportunities, and I get paid to party, but I have a hard time feeling like I'm much more than a deocrated breeder. I just wish my life could be mine.

So what did George say?

He didn't say anything. He just looked sad and we sat in silence until we finished eating.

And then you went home?

Well, no. Then I kicked his butt playing video games. I could always beat him on SSX

SEX? What kind of video game is that?

No Grandpa, SSX - it's a skiing game.

Oh! Video games. Yes. I think we used to have that game.

Really? I had no idea the game was that old.

I didn't think it would survive this long. I can't believe people still play it. So after you played SSX, then you went home?

 

Well, ummmm, no. There's this reality show I'm hooked on, and it was about to start. If I went home, I would miss it, so George said I could just stay and watch it there with him.

Why don't you stay? I'm going to watch 'Living in Oblivion' anyway.

It's late though. I should probably go.

Yeah, but then you'll miss seeing who got voted to get a job.

So I stayed.

Sounds cozy.

Well, there are like 8 people living in this little house, and they're all going crazy and stuff.

No, not the show. You and George. At what point did he put his arm around you?

He did that? I hardly noticed....

 

And when he leaned over and kissed you, did you notice that?

Oh. ummm. I don't really remember that.... I think it was part of the show or something?

You don't remember him kissing you?

Well, if he did, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. Are you sure he wasn't kissing me goodbye?

Well, if he was kissing you goodbye, it was some sendoff. Are you sure you don't remember this?

Oh. well, maybe we got a little carried away during the commercial.

The commercial? What were they advertising?

I'm really not sure.

This is facinating. Nudity really does cause memory loss.

(gulp)

That trench coat sure disappeared in a hurry.

Oh Cal, you are so gorgeous. I don't know how I've managed to live a day without you. I miss you so bad it's killing me.

I want you Cal, I want you bad, I want you in every place and in every way that a man wants a woman. I'm just not me without you. You complete me Cal, you complete me.

And then he was there, staring into my soul, and there was music playing and he was singing the song we danced to at our prom, where he kissed me for the first time..

music *performed by Bon Jovi - a very good friend of George McCarthy*

 

 

........I wanna lay you down, in a bed of roses......

 

........ for tonight I sleep on a bed of nails.........

 

 

........I wanna be just as close as the holy ghost is.........

 

 

......... lay.......you........down...........

 

 

.......on......a......bed.......

 

 

.................of........roses............

 

 

And then I said

No, stop, I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm sorry, I just can't. I'm so sorry.

And I got dressed.

I didn't know what to say. I thought I was going to be sick. I was shaking and I think I just muttered over and over

I'm so sorry George. I just can't do this right now. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't. It's not you. I'm so sorry.

George just looked at me with those big brown eyes, like he could still see right through me. He didn't say anything for a long time. He just looked.

 

And then he said.

Don't apologize. I have no right to take something that's not mine. It's my fault. I'm the one who should be sorry.

Then he took a step towards me.

I should be sorry Cal. I will if you want me to be. But if it's up to me, I'm not sorry. I never regret any minute I get to spend with you. I must've had my head up my ass my whole life to let a girl like you get away from me. I know I belong with you.

But George...

I'm not finished. I know I belong with you. But you belong with Robi. You're his wife, and I know I have to respect that. But Cal, there's something in your eyes. Something you're still longing for. I know it's there because I feel it too, and I'm only going to say this once. I think it sucks that you don't get to make your own choices. I think you should have the life you want, and more than anything in the world, I wish I could be the man to give that to you. I want to give you everything you've ever wanted. I want to make all of your dreams come true.

 

And then, he kissed me on the hand.

 

And I ran. Out of the room. Out of his apartment. Down the stairs and outside to the street below.

 

And I stood outside and sobbed until there was a puddle of tears on the ground and the taxi came to take me home.

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 12: Leaving Robi

Confessions Menu