Legolas Legacy
Multiply, Divide, Prosper
Ari?
Yeah?
What are we looking at?
We're looking for Bella.
Is that a constellation?
No.
A planet?
No. Bella's a lady.
A lady?
The way the story goes, she disappeared in a hot air balloon one day. Left her husband and her kids behind. They were devastated. They had to write it off as a freak accident. Maybe it's an urban legend, but people claim to have seen her floating around up there. It's supposed to be good luck if you see her.
How long has she been up there?
Years?
So she's just floating around up there? Watching the world pass her by. Can't someone rescue her?
Maybe she doesn't want to be rescued. Maybe she likes it up there.
But she's missing everything. What about her kids?
Exactly.
So are you saying I should stay in Legacy Land because of Brandi?
Well. You've got true love. And where there's love, there's always a chance.
Have you ever been in love?
Yeah. A couple times.
Do you think you'll ever get married?
Actually. I am married.
Really? What's he like?
His name is Robi.
How did you meet him?
That's kind of a long story....
Does he drive a cab too?
No. He drives a bug truck. He's an exterminator.
Do you have any kids?
No. No kids. Do you want kids?
Are you kidding? I want at least 10. That's why I got this big house, well, it was supposed to be a big house.
Well, maybe it will be. I don't think you should give up on Brandi.
Do you and Robi have a house? I mean a real house, with walls and a roof and a bathtub?
Yeah. We have a house.
Is it big? Does it have a bathtub?
Yeah. It has 7 bathrooms.
7 bathrooms? And no kids? Why did you buy a house that big if you weren't going to fill it up with kids?
We didn't buy it exactly. I inherited it, from my father.
Was he rich?
His family has money. The house has been in our family for generations.
Doesn't the thought of having kids freak you out?
Not really.
Why not? Aren't you afraid you're going to screw them up?
Of course. But do you know anybody who's not screwed up?
No.
Maybe being screwed up is just part of being alive.It could be our parent's fault, or maybe it's just the way things are. Would you stay inside your whole life just because a satellite might fall on you?
Satellites fall on people?
Having kids isn't about creating perfect people. It's about creating people who can cope with life's imperfections.
You sound like a philosopher.
I get that a lot.
So Ari. What happens if you start this Legacy and a five or six generations from now, somebody drops the ball?
Oh. Ican Hookem has some horrible obliteration clause in the fine print. But what's so bad about being in a Legacy?
It's just the forced breeding thing. I mean, what if someone doesn't want to put their life on hold to have kids?
Well. If I'm dead, there's nothing I could actually do. But it would be sad if my descendants forgot about why this family was started. Don't you think family is important?
Oh yeah. I love my family. It's just if someone told me that I HAD to do something.... like quit my job to wipe butts and noses.
You wouldn't do it?
I've just never considered myself the maternal-type.
Haven't you ever thought it would be fun to have a little Robi Jr. running around?
It would change everything.
It would?
A baby is a whole new person in the world. A baby changes everyone and everything.
Do you have brothers and sisters?
Yeah, a sister, and a twin brother.
You're a twin? What do you think it was like when you were born?
My dad says it was pure madness. My mom got pregnant right after my sister was born and we were so close in age that people thought were triplets.
So your parents had 3 toddlers running around?
I know. I don't want to even imagine what that was like. It must have smelled awful.
So what if they hadn't done it? What if your parents had decided that having kids was too much trouble?
Well, then I guess I wouldn't be here.
With three little kids, I imagine your parents had to put a lot of things on hold. And I'm willing to bet you changed more than a few things.
That would be an understatement.
Did it turn out ok?
Are you trying to change my mind on this?
Not a chance. Trying to change a woman's mind is like trying to change the weather. All I'm saying is having kids is like repaying the favor you parents did for you.
But I don't have to.
No. You don't have to. A child is a gift that you give to the future.
There you go getting all philosophical again.
Ari.
Yeah?
Are you going to marry Brandi?
I want to.
What's stopping you?
Not having a house. Or a ring.
Well, Brandi has a job, right? With the Welcome Wagon? Maybe she has some money and if you got married, you could finish the house together.
I don't even have a job
Keep looking in the paper. Get in on the ground floor with a new company. It'll get better. It has to.
Wouldn't that change everything?
Well. Maybe change isn't all bad.
I hope I'm not being a bad host, but I can hardly keep my eyes open. I'm going to bed.
Ok. I'm going to stay here a little longer and look for Bella.
Good night
Good night. And good luck with that Legacy thing.
You really think I should do it?
It's worth a shot.
Yeah?
It could work.
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