
Hi. Ummm, I'm not sure this is the best way to introduce myself, but this is how I started out.
I arrived in Legacy Land with little more than the clothes on my back. The brochure had
promised
a fully developed neighborhood. The 'Estate' I paid my deposit for was a field
with a one room
shack with a bed, a toilet and a sink - not even a shower! Fortunately,
the truck stop across
the street had a shower, and I visited there as often as I could.

This is the love of my life, Brandi. We met at the truck stop. I was coming out of the
shower
- and she was coming in - and although it was a bit of an awkward start -
we managed to become
friends anyway. I remember Brandi saying "Heck, we've
already seen each other naked -
how much worse could it get?" I invited her over
to my house to play chess - it was the
only entertainment I had, and Brandi beat me every time.

I had to fall in love with her

I woo'd her with every power I had. I worshiped the ground that she walked
on and told her I
couldn't rest until she was mine.

Fortunately, she consented.

Brandi and I married in a quiet ceremony in the front yard. It was so quiet
we were the only
ones there, sadly there isn't even a picture. This is one of
the few pictures of our early
married life that a friend snapped while visiting.
Brandi used to bring home EZ Burgers from
work and they always produced
the most satisfying belch. Brandi was disgusted by my "
manliness" and actually,
right after this picture she ran to the bathroom and vomited (how
was I supposed
to know she was pregnant?) From this point on, our life may have become
easier,
but in my opinion, it was never better.

This is my son Capernicus. The apple of my eye (and his mother's). Brandi and I
were both so
young, and looking back, we probably weren't ready to become parents,
but Capernicus was a good
teacher and we loved him boundlessly.

When Capernicus was born, I chose his name because I loved the sound of it,
but later, I read in
a book that the philosopher Aristotle came up with the theory
that the earth holds up the sky
(something like that) and it was later the philosopher
Capernicus said that the Earth rotates
around the sun. Somehow that seemed
incredibly significant to me - somehow symbolizing that
this little boy would carry
on my legacy and that it would encompass the universe. Sometimes I
think too much,
and other times not enough. But it was my son, Capernicus, who was the best
thing that ever happened to me.

I wanted to teach Capernicus everything I knew. He was a very quick learner,
and asside from
an affinity for playing in the toilet, he was the best boy ever.
Capernicus was my only son,
but he wasn't my only child. Brandi and I had
three girls after Capernicus, my daughter Sun, and
twin girls named Gemini
and Theodora. Gemini means "twin" and Theodora means 'gift'.
Sadly, most
of the pictures we had of them were lost in a fire and so I only have a few that
I've
received from friends to show you.

This is Capernicus as a teenager. Brandi always loved that he was the spitting image of me.

This is Capernicus' wedding - he married a lovely girl named Cassidy -
Capernicus hired her to
bar tend one of his wild teen parties that he threw
when Brandi and I were out for the evening.
He threw the party to impress
another girl, but ended up with Cassidy instead. This picture is
special to me
because it was one of the last times we were all together. Capernicus and
Cassidy were getting married, and in the front row was our pizza guy
(and regular visitor)
Remington, then my daughter, Sun, and my wife Brandi
(now with gray hair). In the back row
is me (also gray) and one of my twins
and a friend of mine from work, the other twin is
standing behind us - I can't
tell who is who from this picture since they are very nearly
identical. After the
wedding, Sun moved out of the house with Gemini and Theodora, and we
never
heard from them again (well, almost). We hired private investigators and searched
high
and low, but I never saw them again - one of the great heartbreaks of my life I suppose.

Here is one of the only pictures I have of my twin girls, Gemini and Theodora.
They were always
so competitive.
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