Legolas Legacy
Multiply, Divide, Prosper
As I was saying.... my little muffin grew up.
Donte made sure we were well provided for.
He doesn't work for me....
Which might explain why things worked out so well.
He even bought me a car.
Don't call me if you break down......
And he bought Allistar 'Cheerleader Beach Fighter 2'
A personal favorite
And we made some much needed improvements to our house.
Ohhh, windows and covered walls....fancy schmancy....
So one day I asked Mr. Box 'Why DO I have to stay here as your prisoner?? What if I just packed up my family and left???. I mean, I have a car now. This is crazy, being held captive by a mailbox and a trash can.
Mailbox fire.
Excuse me?
Mailbox fire. If you and your family try to leave this land, You will all perish in an eternally burning mailbox fire.
Oh. Is that all?
Yes. that's all.
Then Mr. Box began to require me to make daily 'sacrifices' to Mr. Can.
Just drop it in, nice and slow....
You know, you could bend over a little more when you do that...
And I began to wonder what would happen if I accidentally shoved that 'sacrifice' into Mr. Box instead of Mr. Can....
Occasionally things did go my way. Like when the bathtub caught on fire (???) and nearly boiled Scott. Unfortunately, he was able to extinguish himself.
Hello Green boy!
Green Boy: You have the strangest color skin..... and it looks like your hand is detachable....
And so my little boy Allistar grew up, yet again....
...and the cat's in the cradle...
Don't even start Mr. Box. I was there for this one.
Yes, I see, and so was his father, his step father, his father's ex wife, the school headmaster, the green boy, and some rap star you were contemplating sleeping with while Donte was at work.
But I didn't....
And your kid is going to grow up just fine.... isn't he?
Well. I kind of think he's handsome.
When I grow up I'm going to OWN this town....
Handsome is as handsome does.... And Allistar doesn't look like he's all that...
Well. Well. That's Scotts fault. He didn't nurture him properly as a toddler, he just let him play in the puddles all day. Besides, Scott isn't exactly the nicest guy either....
Allistar: Yeah. It's not my fault.
The best part about turning 16 for Allistar was being able to drive
Yeah. Even if it is a piece-of-crap-car
I told him he could go downtown to get some new pajamas
Yeah. Red hair, red pajamas. I don't think so.
He met a really sweet girl
Damn she was hot. I told her that my family was held prisoner by this evil mailbox. I think she was impressed.
Who wouldn't be???
And when I got home, that Allison chick from the store had beaten me home. She was waitin for me.
Like I have no idea how I got here......
But I do....
Hey hot chick! What are ya doin here?
Allistar Sway, you are now my prisoner...
Hey! Mom said that wouldn't happen until I became a man!
Yes, but you left your lot, and this is the first female you saw, so now you are bound to her for life. You will give her your seed, and you will surrender your firstborn to me.
Oh Sweet! This is definitely my BEST birthday present. You mean like right now?
No. Not right now.
Oh good. I guess. Cause I kinda wanted to go to college first, you know, get an education, make some real money for this crap piece of land you make us live on. Especially since my mom has made a career of kissing El Mayor-o Donte's rear.
Not adjusting well to your step-parent Allistar?
Excuse me? But who are you like talking to???
She can't hear me Allistar.
So you just let me stand here talking to you, making a fool of myself???
Was that a question?
Oh Allistar you are so like weird....
Yeah, it's cool huh? Listen I've got a buy one get one free coupon at LaFiesta Tech. You wanna be my girlfriend and go to college with me?
Like really? Well sure. I guess so.
And so the deal was sealed.
So Allistar studied for college.
I figured out why things didn't work out with Scott and I....
Nice pink neckerchief....or is that a dog collar???
And after that we got along much better.
Mr Can : <burps> Thank you.
He even painted my portrait.
And once Donte realized Scott wasn't a threat anymore, they became the best of friends.
I see you're holding a knife...
A few promotions for each of us and our little house grew.
See, aren't you glad I took you prisoner?
Oh hail to thee oh great and powerful mailbox.
I love when she bows to me...
Mr. Can : So do I.....So do I.....
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