Legolas Legacy
Multiply, Divide, Prosper
Shhhh! Come over here! Pssst! I think I have a plan! Look! If I can just get beyond those rocks... I think I could get away from here. I could disguise myself as a cactus or something. If I could just make a break for it when the mailman comes by, he might not notice...
Oh Belinda! Would you mind taking a look at the trash compactor? He's a cousin of mine, and he seems to have something stuck in his throat... Scott may have put too many beer cans in him again....
<grumbles> Stupid Scott. Stupid Beer Cans. Stupid Trash Compactor...
STUPID MOTHER F-ING MAILBOX!!!!!
Ohhhh, that's got to hurt. Sorry. Forgot to warn you. My cousin's got a bit of a temper....
Wow, you're all lit up. Madonna's sure going to be sorry you never made it to the audition....
You were always hot Belinda... But I'd say you've taken yourself to a whole new level. Hmmmmm. I smell something. Is someone making popcorn? Oh, and Scott, don't think we don't see that grin on your face....
M M M A I L B O X.! ! ! ! !
Oh dear. Now that IS sad. Miss Belinda Sway, all crispy on the kitchen floor.
<ring ring> Hang on. I've got to take a call...
Hello? Oh yes Grimmy. It's done? Very good. Just bring her out here next to me. Right. Oh. What's that? Tuesday is Karaoke night in the bowels of hell? Oh, you know I'll be there big guy. I owe you one.
OMG. You killed my mom. You killed my mom you stupid Mailbox.
Actually... the trash compactor killed her. I'm ONLY a mailbox after all. Go ahead, why don't you call the police, Allistar, and tell them that your mother was killed in a conspiracy between a mailbox and a trash compactor??
Don't think I won't!
Congratulations son, you're the new Heir of Strangetown.
I already know almost everything there is to know.
Well, your middle name IS Carl. It's no suprise you got scholarships for all your skills, your ability to hustle at the pool table, and your fancy footwork with the la ides... Young Allistar will be taking a cool $9500 with him to LFT...
It doesn't look like Donte is taking Belinda's death very well...What's he doing in the middle of the road?
Oh, he jumped out of that helicopter of his. But he didn't die.
That Allison chick was really shocked when she found out mom was dead. I tried to tell her the mailbox did it, but she said
Oh Allistar! Like Now is not the time for jokes. Your mother is dead!
You know. You're very lucky Allistar. Most girls don't like having their hair pulled like that.
Since it was almost time for me to leave for college, Allison came over and we had one last dinner with my dad.
Like Cheers! Here's to Mr. Landry's pink dog collar.
<woof>
There's just one last thing I have to do before leaving for college...
No! Allistar! What are you doing? Stay away from him! He's a serial appliance! There's a recall out on him! Get your head out of there!
There. That ought to do it. Finally. My mother's death has been avenged.
Good bye Dad! Good bye Not-My-Dad Donte! Goodbye Evil Mailbox. Allison and I are on our way to four years of freedom at La Fiesta Tech!
Did you bring the coupon?
What coupon?
The buy-one-get-one-free coupon for La Fiesta Tech?
I'll be waiting for you............
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