Legolas Legacy
Multiply, Divide, Prosper
Oh that was awful! I just had the worst nightmare! I dreamed Mr. Box followed me here to college! And he was making me wear an ape suit everywhere I went!
Hello Allistar....
Curses!
Listen Mailbox. This isn't fair. You just can't hold a family hostage like this for generations.
Fair? Whatever gave you the impression that I had any interest in being fair???
Why are you doing this? What do you want?
I want 9 direct descendants of your mother from NPC bloodlines.
For what?
Think of it as my little pet project.
Come on Mr. Box. Isn't there some other way? I mean I hate the thought of my children and grandchildren living under your tyranny.
Nice word Allistar. Learn that one in school?
Isn't there some way I can buy you off so you'll leave us alone?
Buy me off? You want to buy your way out of this?
Yeah. If I can.
Well. Maybe we can work something out....
Name your price.
100.
100 Simoleons? Done. Open your mouth, I'd be happy to shove it down your throat.
No. 100 points.
What the heck are you talking about? 100 points of what?
It's simple Allistar. You do stuff I like. I give you points. You do things I don't like, I take away points. When you get 100 points I will set your family free.
Really?
Well, probably.
How will I know what earns me points?
I'll tell you when it happens. You get one point for starting Banana Rama Rama, and you can earn another if you make a little extra money while you're here. And it never hurts to be popular or get good grades...
What about all those scholarships I got?
Half a point. Maybe.
Now we really should get back to the story.... Where were we? Oh yes. At La Fiesta Tech where The Heir of Strangetown was receiving an education...
I'm roasting here Mailbox! Do you know what it's like to to wear nothing but an ape suit every day in the middle of the desert???
I have no idea what that's like.... but it's fascinating to watch, Allistar...
Fortunately, Allison likes it. Men in fur is a real turn on for her. She likes when I make those 'wild ape' noises.
Have you ever seen a mailbox vomit?
Like I love you, you big ape! Raaawwrrr!
And really, mailbox. I think we could live quite happily this way...
Yes, you two sure do go at it like a couple of wild apes...
Well, that is the point, isn't it??
Well, I'm not really sure what your point is, but I think you need to sum up your last three years at La Fiesta so we can get on with the rest of your life. Please. Just the highlights, and don't linger.
Oh. Ok. Uh, this is Edward Fuchs, Allison's brother. As you can see, he's no George McCarthy. He wasn't very neat, or very smart, in fact he probably spent way too much time on the bubble blower.
Is that what happened to his face?
No. That was a Dodgeball accident.
Dude.... Don't look now... But I think I see BUBBLES........
Oh wait, Dude.... I AM a bubble.....
The *bleepin* shower broke every other day.
And instead of actually fixing it, you just hit it and screamed at it . (really, he never actually used the wrench, he just cursed at the shower until it worked again...even with 10 mechanical...mean sims are so fun! )
You did a lot of painting
Yes. I titled this piece "Mr. Box and Mr. Can" In fact, Allison and I did enough painting to get a minor in Art.
And you had some visitors...
Now that was weird. These two guys I knew from the Secret Society came home with me to study, and they never left.
Never?
They sat on my couch for like two and a half years.
I'd have that couch replaced...
Once Allison asked them what they were studying... And when they told her, well, it was a little more obvious why they just didn't get up and leave...
I had no idea La Fiesta Tech offered a degree in porn.
I think it's more of a certification.
Allison and I formed a band, kind of. Edward worked as a bar tender at a little club on campus, and so he got us regular gigs there. Allison and I would go and play jazz. We called ourselves "The Grape Apes" We were pretty popular, and made some nice cash, I mean, nothing as big time as Llama Mama or anything. But it was groovy.
We even had a couple of big gigs. Edward had been taking guitar lessons so he eventually joined The Grape Apes.
Look, we're really running out of time here. Any other 'highlights' from your education you feel compelled to share?
Well, Banana-Rama-Rama was voted the most popular Fraternity on Campus
Dude, like you were voted 'Coolest Fraternity on Campus'
Oh wow. Is it because I've got so many friends? Are Ape suits 'in' now??
No, you've got that cool talkin mailbox dude... that's better than any weed I've ever grown...
I thought I was the only one who could hear you Mailbox....
You are. His weed is just that good...
Is it true that Randy Lam from Legacy Land came to a Banana-Rama-Rama party?
No. That was a case of mistaken identity...
Randy's twin brother?
No.
Randy's evil twin brother?
No.
Heir to the Azahora throne?
No.
NST Agent in disguse?
No. His name is Benjamin.
You proposed to Allison...
Well, how else was I going to get her to marry me?
Like, YES!!!!
Edward got engaged too.
You've got to be kidding...
I wish I was. She's going to be a cardiologist, so he gave her his heart. But it kept him happy.
You think Professor Gretchen is scary? Well get this. My mailbox is evil and it holds me hostage...
Sorry Dude, did you say something? This is darn good bubble juice in here...
Speaking of that Llama. Did he ever beat up the cow?
Oh yeah. It was an utter disaster.....
Oh Allistar... That was pathetic...
Hey, I've got to milk it for all it's worth...
So what's this?
That's my Senior Project.
Ramen Noodles? You made Ramen Noodles for your senior project??? You must have been sleeping with your professor Allistar...
Oh these aren't just any Ramen noodes. These are FIRE PROOF Ramen Noodles... Cook them as long as you want, they'll never burn.
Fire Proof Noodles? You spend four years at La Fiesta Tech and all you learn is how to make Fire Proof Noodles?
Listen. Do you have any idea how many people die in noodle fires every day? I'm going to make millions selling this stuff to asylums. There's a huge market for fire proof food in the mental health industry.
What are you doing Allistar?
I'm making money.
Yes, but Graduation is in 3 hours, why are you worried about that now?
I have to get the balance over 60,000. If I get 1/3 of the money and if I leave here with more than 20,000 I'll get a point, right? That's what you said. I've got to get points to free myself from your tyranny.
There's that word again. Listen. I'm not sure exactly what I said...
No. No. I'm gonna do it. I'm going to leave here with more than 20,000 and you're going to give me a point for it. I really should get 3 points. I earned most of this money myself you know... Keep cranking Allison!
And I did it. I made my goal. Banana Rama Rama had 60,238 simoleons when I graduated.
My dad, Scott, came for my graduation.
..........when ya comin home son....I don't know when, but we'll get together then Dad, you know we'll have a good time then....
As a graduation gift, Allison painted our portraits.
She also painted this graduation portrait of me.
So that's it. Me and Allison are out of here!
What about Edward?
Oh, he figures he'll stay here and keep Banana Rama Rama going and wait for the next generation to come along. It'll probably take him that long to make up his missed work.
Na Na Na - Na Na Na - Hey Hey Hey - Good Bye....
Not so fast Allistar.... You're coming with ME!
This site is not endorsed by or affiliated with Electronic Arts, or its licensors. Trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Game content and materials copyright Electronic Arts Inc. and its licensors. All Rights Reserved.
