Legolas Legacy
Multiply, Divide, Prosper
Welcome home Allistar...
Come inside Allison my future bride. We're home now.
Like, Really?
Welcome home Son. Don't tell me you only brought one girl home from college. I told you to bring a couple for me.
Dad. I'm just here to make money. I already told you that. I'll leave the girl catching up to you.
Like where's your pink dog collar Mr. Landry?
Besides, Dad, You got old. I just saw you yesterday... what happened?
Oh. I'm not the only one who's changed around here...
Like, Mayor Donte. You look a little pale... You need to get some sun.
So. My mother is dead, she was killed by a mailbox who conspired with a serial appliance. My dad is a dirty old man, and my not-my-dad is a vampire. Tomorrow I start my new job as a business excecutive, and Allison starts her job as a Psychic Psychologist...
Like that's where I tell people what problems they're going to have.
And tomorrow night, Allison and I get married. Mr. Box says if she's not pregnant by morning.... oh god. I can't think about what he said he'll do. It'll give me performance anxiety. But I've got to say. I don't have much hope for the next generation. Unless I can earn enough points to free us. At least I've got a decent haircut.
Allison and I were married after sundown. Friends from Banana-Rama-Rama joined us for the celebration.
Do you Allison, take Me Allistar, to be your mate? Will you promise to breed with me and produce and heir or heiress that we will one day surrender to the evil mailbox that controls all of our lives? Will you live under the tyranny of Mr. Box and Mr. Can, doing whatever they ask of you without complaint, making as much money as possible and pledge to die on this land in whatever manner they see fit?
Like, I do.
(What were you expecting? We're not exactly Legalos' here...)
Do we like get cake now?
Shove it in her face, shove it in her face!!
Our reception was one rockin party
5, 6, 7, 8........
After most of our guests had gone home, Allison and I stood outside talking, and finishing up the leftover drinks from the bar.
So, Like how did you like our wedding Allistar?
And I told her it was just as beautiful as I'd imagined it would be. But I couldn't help but wish that my mom was here, instead of lying in the ground under the mailbox.
And then Allison told me she had an idea
Like, I have an idea Allistar.
She told me that at her new job at the Psychic Psychology center she was being trained on a new piece of equipment that could raise the dead.
Like, at the Psychic Psychology Center we're learning how to use this machine that raises the dead. So like people can resolve their issues with their dead relatives.
She told me she'd brought the machine home to practice with it.
Like, maybe we could practice on your mom?
Now THAT was a very interesting idea. Maybe my mom could be here on my wedding day after all... Maybe there is a way to outsmart Mr. Box....
Ok. So what you do is you pick up the phone like part. And then you say
Red Rover Red Rover
Send Belinda Right Over
And?
And that's all I remember. Like it seemed more complicated when they showed us at work....
Holy Flaming Legacies!
Like Blahhhhh! Mrs. Sway
Belinda Sway... As I live and breathe.... Welcome back Sweetheart....
Mom. Mom, it's me. Allistar, your son. I'm a man now, and today's my wedding day and... and...
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