Sessions From Confessions

Session Four : Coffee

So I'm working in the coffee shop and these two bozos come in looking like they got dressed in the dark and dancing like they missed a pill...

Hey, I rocked those pants.

Yeah, you did.

So Zeiss tells me "I triple dog dare you to ask the red headed coffee chick if you can buy her a cup of coffee." I guess he knew I was kind of shy when it comes to girls.

And he doesn't drink coffee.

Yeah, I hate coffee. But Zeiss tells me he'll write my term paper if I buy this girl some coffee so I figure that §2.50 is a pretty good price for a term paper. I mean, a guy would have to be crazy to pass up a deal like that.

So I go up to the counter and try to say something clever

"I'd like to buy the coffee girl"

It didn't really come out right...

You were so cute...

Can I get you something?
Coffee. No, you coffee
I'm sorry?
I want to buy your coffee.
Ok... we only have one kind... would you like cream?

It didn't go very well.

He was all embarassed. It was so sweet.

I messed it up. I ended up buying myself a cup of coffee.

He doesn't like coffee.

I hate it. But I had to drink it. She was watching. I'd already made a fool of myself. If I bought it and didn't drink it, I thought she'd be insulted.

It tasted like boiled rocks. No offense babe.

None taken. But you drank it anyway.

I tried to. I was so embarassed. I can be totally cool until I'm face to face with a pretty girl, then I just kind of lose it.

But it worked out ok. I finally figured out what was going on.

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